He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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