I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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