I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
