just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
