You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
