My brain says no but my pants say off.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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