That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
