her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
