K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
