meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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