I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
