Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
