The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
