im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
His hands were made for my vagina.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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