Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize