Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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