thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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