$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
