? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
