Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
