Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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