So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
