like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
