id be glad to
you guys were way drunker than both of me
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
