YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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