Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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