Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
