Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
