He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
