I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
