you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
