mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
