just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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