Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Couch. On fire.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
