"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
