Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
