its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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