everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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