first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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