We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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