Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
