dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
