There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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