how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
