we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
