Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
