I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I had to cum in my sink.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
