Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Bring me that man meat
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
