i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
