I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
