So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
