I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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