I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
